Mischaracterization Theater Presents... by Jason Compton

Drogo laid back, letting the Ilmaterite tend to yet another damn bruise that wouldn't heal. They came to him, these days, so if he wanted to camp outside the de'Arnise Keep, well by golly they were going to heal him right there. He had a lot of time to think these days, so he watched his party frolic and cavort. They were a fun group, after hours. He stood up and stretched and considered.

Kelsey's loud belch punctured the silence. Drogo was starting to wonder if he would ever be safe from Kelsey. When Yoshimo failed to return from their recent scouting expedition, everyone accepted Kelsey's story that he had fallen in a bottomless pit. Things got a little more suspicious when Kelsey started wearing Yoshimo's shadow armor (originally presumed lost with the body in the aforementioned pit) and fashioning a set of lockpicks from what appeared to be a human femur. You didn't get in Kelsey's way, not unless you wanted trouble. Drogo touched the bridge of his nose.still a bit tender from where Kelsey had broken it the day they met after Drogo sassed back about Kelsey's lack of help with the Wizards.and quickly looked elsewhere, lest Kelsey's uncanny sixth sense pick up that he was being watched. He was too weak to endure another beating.

Tashia and Valen sat together, quietly quilting. They were a funny pair, almost inseparable. An unlikely sisterhood, but Tashia had taken the repentant fledgling vampire under her wing as only she could.a fountain of patience and generosity, was Tashia. It was even her idea to let Valen keep her strength up by supping on her pure elven blood from time to time. Of course, the thought had horrified Valen at first but when Tashia's mind was made up to help someone, well, there was nothing in the world that could shake her. Drogo wondered when Valen would run off to the next temple begging absolution again... the priests were getting tired of telling her that her list of good deeds was getting embarrassingly long, so they'd taken to tacking it up on the temple doors to try to save time.

As he pondered the girls, Solaufein came up to him, faked a right cross, then an uppercut, and gave him one hell of a slap on the shoulder.his good one, thankfully, although that card was so unpredictable that he just might have slugged him in the big bruise to get a reaction. "Hot damn, Drogo, but were or were not those wenches at the Mithrest THE FINEST PIECES OF ASS IN ALL OF AMN?" He laughed cruelly, as he always did when discussing his latest exploit with the dozens of women he notched into Sanchuudoku's hilt. "Well, excepting maybe that pair at the Five Flagons, but I'll be damned if I can even get it up for less than two halflings at a time, if you know what I mean!"

Drogo was about to explain that he was sure he didn't when something caught the drow's eye and his features turned to a lascivious sneer. "Hey, Immy. Didja ever hear the one about the man from Wheeling? You see, he was taken with a very peculiar feeling.hey! Come back here, little girl!" Imoen made for the hills but Solaufein, inevitably, was faster. Why she bothered resisting his advances anymore was beyond Drogo. No woman could.

Ah, friendship. "Sometimes, it's good to be the Bhaalspawn," thought Drogo.